Silliest Dirty Words

Mostly stolen from a list originally compiled by George Carlin

Most of you remember Carlin's original "seven dirty words you can't say on TV": shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, mother-fucker, and tits - from his album: Class Clown, 1972. Carlin's expanded list is comprehensive beyond your wildest dreams, and hilarious. More than 2,500 words. Our list is only the very silliest words and phrases, based on but not limited to Carlin's list.


MALE GENITALS

Bald-Headed Butler

Belaying Pin

Heat-Seeking Moisture Missle

Jack in the Box

Joy Stick

Magic Wand

Master of Ceremonies

One-Eyed Trouser Trout

Pocket Fisherman

Trouser Python

FEMALE GENITALS

Love Canal

Candle Holder

Fort Bushy

Lapland

Magpie's Nest

Mom's Homemade Pie

Old Mossyface

Organ Grinder

Pipe Cleaner

Low Toupee

FORNICATION

Taking a Dipstick Reading

Bush Patrol

Dancing the Mattress Jig

Fix Her Plumbing

Four-Legged Frolic

Lay Some Pipe

Riding the Log Flume

The Disappearing Cane Trick

The Matrimonial Polka

Trip Up the Rhine

CUNNILINGUS

Bird-Washing

Box Canyon Serenade

Box Lunch

Wild Cherry Slurpee

Sea Food Filet with White Sauce

Eating At the "Y"

Egg McMuff

Lickety Split

Shrimping

Whistling in the Dark

MASTURBATE

(MALE)

Pocket Billiards

Onan's Olympics

Pulling your Taffy

Varnishing the Fencepost

Shaking Hands with Mr. Goodwrench

Playing a Flute Solo

Clean your Rifle

Jackin' the Beanstalk

Manual Override

Twang your Magic Twanger

.

MASTURBATE

(FEMALE)

Gilding the Lily

Juicing the Sluice

Makin'Soup

Tickling the Taco

Two-Finger Tango

BREASTS

Headlights

Lactoids

Twin Peaks

Umlauts

Upper Deck

FELLATIO

The Big Gulp

Smoking the White Owl

Sword Swallowing

Kneeling at the Altar

Recording Session with Little Elvis