Fokking Beer
According to web lore, there is a microbrewery in the Northeast which produces a very fine pilsener, using their family name and their best German brewing methods. Their marketing, however, is modern and American. Here are some of the best Fokking slogans you'll ever hear.

|A Hearty Fokking|

"When you've got a long hard one ahead….just your best girl and a whole lot of Fokking"

"Try it through a straw……sucking and Fokking are the perfect combination"

"Eat a little first, then enjoy a good Fokking"

"Never a Fokking hangover"

"It doesn't get any better than Fokking"

"Good friends, good fun, good Fokking"

"Some people prefer Fokking in the morning"

"In Germany they love Fokking more than Beck's"

"Hell, even if you don't like beer, you'll love Fokking"

"Hey, Todd, let's get the Fokking party started"

"What's a party without some Fokking?"

"It's a Fokking good time."

"We like Fokking…. you?"


"nothing satisfies like a good Fokking"

"I really get tense when I go too long without a good Fokking"

"driving and Fokking don't mix"

"a kiss on the hand may be quite Continental, but Fokking is a girl's best friend"

"you won't get a good Fokking in Milwaukee"

"I've got Fokking on my mind."

"Tonight, tonight……let it be Fokking"

"These are some Fokking guys"

"I always take my clients for a hearty Fokking... with plenty of head".

"The difference between a good day and a bad day is Fokking!"

"What? You're 21 and you haven't tried Fokking yet?"

"Bored with the same old action? How about a good Fokking?"

"Granny's 93, and she still loves a daily Fokking"

"How much Fokking do you think you can handle?"

"It's world-renowned. Wherever you go, from Vancouver to Tibet, most people recognize a Fokking when they see it"

"The great Fokking head sets it apart from the rest"

"Could tonight be the night? Why go broke with Champagne when you can afford a whole lot of Fokking?"

"People ask for it by name. At every single party you hear, 'where's da Fokking beer'"

"Our taste test shows: Budweiser C+, Fokking A"

"9 out of 10 beer drinkers prefer Fokking to just plain Busch"


The Big Fokking Corporation proudly presents its version of an old internet favorite
Why a woman isn't as good as a Fokking Beer.
  1. You can enjoy a Fokking Beer any day of the month.
  2. Your Fokking Beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
  3. A Fokking Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another one.
  4. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a Fokking Beer.
  5. A Fokking Beer never has a headache.
  6. After you have a Fokking Beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
  7. A Fokking Beer encourages you to come home with beer on your breath.
  8. If you pour a Fokking Beer right, you will always get good head.
  9. You don't have to feel guilty if you have more than one Fokking Beer tonight
  10. A Fokking Beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
  11. You can share a Fokking Beer with your friends.
  12. You always know that you are the first one to pop a Fokking Beer.
  13. A Fokking Beer is always wet.
  14. Fokking Beer doesn't care when you come.
  15. You can have a Fokking Beer in public.
  16. A frigid Fokking Beer is a good Fokking Beer.
  17. You don't have to wash a Fokking Beer before it tastes good
  18. A Fokking Beer doesn't mind resting in its "wet spot".
  19. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a Fokking Beer.
  20. After you have a Fokking Beer, you're committed to nothing but dumping the empty bottle.
  21. A Fokking Beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
  22. When your Fokking Beer is gone, you just pop another.
  23. You rarely (if ever) find a Fokking label on the shower curtain rod.
  24. A Fokking Beer looks the same in the morning.
  25. A Fokking Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
  26. A Fokking Beer doesn't have a mother.
  27. A Fokking Beer always listens and never argues.
  28. Fokking's labels don't go out of style every year.
  29. A Fokking Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
  30. If you change from Budweiser to Fokking, you don't have to pay alimony.
  31. A Fokking Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
  32. A Fokking Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
  33. A Fokking Beer doesn't need much closet space.
  34. A Fokking Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
  35. A Fokking Beer encourages you to fart and belch.
  36. A Fokking Beer never asks you to change the station.
  37. A Fokking Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
  38. A Fokking Beer doesn't care what position the toilet seat is in.
  39. Violent action movies and football games are more to watch with a Fokking Beer.
  40. A Fokking Beer has no opinion about Brad Pitt.
  41. A Fokking Beer is always easy to pick up.
  42. A Fokking Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
  43. A Fokking Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.

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