Actual headlines
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- SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
- POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
- SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
- DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
- SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
- FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
- IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
- IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?
- STUD TIRES OUT
- PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
- PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
- SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN
- BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
- LUNG CANCER IN WOMAN MUSHROOMS
- EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
- TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
- REAGAN WINS ON BUDGET, BUT MORE LIES AHEAD
- SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
- SHOT OFF WOMAN'S LEG HELPS NICKLAUS TO 66
- ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
- PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD
- MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
- JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
- STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
- TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
- TWO SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
- KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
- NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONE
- DRUNKEN DRIVERS PAID $1000 IN 1984
- WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
- IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE
- COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
- ENFIELS COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
- RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE
- DEER KILL 17,000
- TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY; HUNDREDS DEAD
- MAN STUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE