Star Wars Rules
Everyone on the web is always typing "Star Wars Rules." Thought you
might be wondering exactly what those rules are
- Stormtroopers must wear helmet in Death Star batting cages
- Don't wear brown jackboots with a blue cape
- Don't wear white to funeral of one killed with psychic powers
- Free parking places reserved for Grand Moffs only. Regular
Moffs pay to park.
- White wine with fish, red wine with TonTon
- Don't invite black sheep Pizza to Hutt family reunions
- When kissing sister - no tongue
- Karaoke every Wednesday in the Star Wars Bar.
- Do NOT use R2 when Roomba malfunctions
- Chewy not ready for Cycle 3 yet
- It's Chewy with a "w", not Chevy, dammit
- Tip from Costas: Don't trust the force in late innings of a
close game
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The Other Six Star Wars Flicks
Lucas finally contracted out the rest of the nonology. Too bad he
couldn't direct the rest of the films himself. He wanted to release
them all next year, so he needed to hire six different teams to
produce them simultaneously
Aaron Spelling's "Stars"
Are you a small,powerless band of rebels pitted against
a mighty Dark Empire? There's one group that can do the job for
you: The A-Team. Starring the new cast: Bill Pullman as Face, Jim
Kerrey as Murdock, Ving Rheames as B.A., and Anthony Hopkins as
Hannibal. "I pity the fool" that thinks he can use the dark side
against these guys.
Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Star"
Vader is about to choke a simple peasant lad, when
boredom prompts him to let the boy play chess for his life. The
kid wins, so Vader declares "best two of three", and they begin
the second game. This time, instead of chess, they play "mystery
date".
Russ Meyer's "Star Vixens"
Let's just say there are some interesting new curves in
Vader's body armor
"Alderaan, R.F.D."
Vader won't let his deputy, Barney, use the force on
speeders and drunks.
Cubby Broccoli's "From Dantooine With Love"
"Kenobi ... James Kenobi". Obi-Wan drinks his foaming
green drink frappéd, not blended.
"Bill and Ted's Mediocre Adventure"
Our heroes get into some scrapes with that "Imperial
Ugly Dude", but defeat him with the help of historical personages,
including 13th President Millard Fillmore, Saxon King Ethelred the
Unready, and former Timex spokesman John Cameron Swayze.